Welcome!
Take the others' here advice and take. It. Slow. You will be doing a lot of reading, a lot of thinking and not a lot of sleeping for the next few months.
And whatever you do... I can't be clear enough about this... Do NOT spill the beans to your wife yet. Or anyone for that matter. Figure your end out first. You will go through all of the regular phases of grief and she will be concerned.. Deflect for now. We read a lot of stories just like yours and mine here everyday. Of all of the success stories, it is most often the ones who are very careful and play the long game with their spouses who have much better chances. Personally I spilled the beans completely after about a month, and now 2.5 years later I've still not convinced my wife to get out with me. We are making progress for sure, but that ONE conversation set us back years. I can't stress this enough.
Also do all of the recommended reading. All of it. Self education is your best bet right now.